When we think about wife beating, we tend to think of it occurring in the low socio economic strata of society. It is generally unthinkable to us that someone we know is beating his wife. But we know that almost 25% of all murders take place within the family and millions of domestic violence incidents happen yearly. So we have to accept that wife abuse is happening under our noses at every level of society.
Wife abuse happens when women are hit and knocked around in such a violent manner that serious injury can occur. Often the attacker strikes on on the head and neck, producing black eyes, split lips, fractured jaws, and broken noses. Other times women are seen in emergency rooms for broken ribs and damage to internal organs.
Here is something you need to know if a man has started abusing you in your relationship. Once it starts, it is going to happen again and the violence might well get worse and spill over onto your children. Hitting becomes a habit for a man who feels out of control. You are an easy target and so afraid that you often will not reveal this to people who might be able to help you.
Wife beating starts up when a couple have been at odds over such things as housecleaning, dealing with children, and financial conflicts. The husband strikes out with his fists , slamming the wife against the wall and kicking her. She retreats to a bedroom or somewhere she feels safe. He then follows her and apologizes, saying he did not know what came over him and he will never do this again. Any woman who has been been beaten once has to know it is going to keep happening, no doubt about it.
You stay with an abusive husband because of financial reasons or you think you can change him. You are worried that you cannot support yourself and worry that once you try to break away from him, he will kill you. That happens a lot. Women get restraining orders, try to get free, and then are slaughtered because there is no way the police can protect them 24-7.
So what do you do if your husband starts hitting you? Get out right away. Do not allow a pattern or habit to get established. Go to a shelter and file a police report. Talk to people about what is happening to you and join a support group. The alternative is to end up disfigured, maimed, or dead.
Here is the real story. It is a crime to beat anyone. If you stand for it, it will become a way of life, passed on to your children who think this is normal , acceptable behavior. The person who beats another person is a criminal, no matter what the excuse. You are not to blame and do not let yourself feel you deserve this. You are not alone. I know two women in particular, one the wife of a prominent surgeon who was beaten frequently. The other’s husband was a school counselor. Both of these men felt they were not doing anything wrong when they beat their wives and until they were arrested, did not think they had committed a criminal act.
Most of us here in the US do not follow Islamic law which allows wife beating. Do not stay in an abusive relationship to save and protect your children. You will simply encourage them to become monsters like the man who is hurting you. You are helpless and without hope. Keep talking about what is happening to you and the truth shall set you free. You are not stupid. You are not worthless. Believe in yourself enough to stop the violence which is taking place against you. Get help and get it fast. More blogs are coming about violence in the home due to messages from many of you out there.
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