This is the ‘let’s get personal boss’. So much different from ossipy boss, Ruthless and Bossy, this personal actually is interested in you, especially if you are ‘hot’ and available. Here’s a prime example. I had used the services of a very well known ear surgeon to do a small surgery for me and it went very well. When my twenty something daughter developed a throat problem, I sent her to him for a consult. He saw her one time and then said he would give her a prescription but then could no longer treat her as a patient. She was shocked and asked why. He told her that he wanted to ‘date’ her and it would be inappropriate to be treating her at the same time. Many of us could not imagine mixing serious business with attempted grabs for pleasure, but the sexy leader does it all the time. If you have ever worked at a hospital, you have seen what goes on with doctors and nurses. One well respected specialist had a special nurse he choose to work with in his surgeries. Others wondered why because others were more competent. The reason came out when it was discovered that she was giving him oral sex in a consultation room. Eventually he divorced his wife to marry this nurse but then he was off to the races with yet another ’special assistant’.
Sexual pressure used to be totally commonplace on the job but it has had to be toned down with the sexual harassment laws. That does not mean it has stopped. It’s just a little less obvious. The sexed up leader knows how you dress, how you sit, how you look going away, and hints that you might be up for a little romance. They will tell you it’s all business but you know that’s a lie from the very beginning. They want like minded people around them and encourage salty jokes and provocative talk. They insist on the personal touch and do remember birthdays, special occasions, and encourage office get togethers at holidays. The better to be able to get someone to have a few drinks and lessen some inhibitions. Let’s get it on!
Your Sexy Boss is always having hurt feelings. Somebody didn’t remember, someone passed on by, someone set the stage for rejection. So the Seductive Boss likes to bitch and complain a lot and nurse old grievances. This boss also loves to gossip, dish the dirt, and find out who is playing around and having marital trouble. Attractiveness and ‘personal’ interpersonal skills are stressed. This person is a believer in people power and influencing people by getting close to them. Coyness, flirtatiousness, looking sexy, and being attentive and helping out will go a long way with this leader.
This is the CEO you will hear about getting involved with an employee and getting divorced. This will be the person who is known to have affairs and think others are having them too. They always perceive themselves as desirable and cute as a button. They preen and posture and have dramatic flair. It can be a real life soap opera around this boss who always has a grudge going, someone who has been rejecting or hurtful, and someone who is withholding affection. They are caretakers who want to get in your business and find out what’s troubling you. They are protective of their people and will fight for them, unless, of course, it makes them appear less attractive and wanted. Their language is salty, funny, and they are fun to be around as long as you know that revenge, intrigue, and jealousy are just around the corner.
Does this seem like a fun boss? Maybe because it won’t be boring and you won’t be ignored. This leader know who you are and how you feel and if something different is happening with you. The words ’sweetie, dear, angel, my savior’ and such words will be bouncing around. Honey will be everywhere until you look the wrong way, get in a snit and won’t talk, or even worse, gossip about this leader. You can carry tales about everyone else but remember to keep this boss’s secrets. Another thing you will notice about these bosses is they tend to get along fairly well with other leaders due to their ingratiating way of sucking up and seeming terribly interested the other person’s life, family, and outside activities. When they are down their shoulders are slumped, they drag themselves along, have that ‘woe is me’ look on their faces, and want you to pat them, reassure them, and tell them how much you care about how they are feeling. Their hearts are on their sleeves and if you tend to be a cold fish, you don’t want to keep working for this one because you will be seen as unfair, uncaring, and unworthy of a job. Out you go and isn’t it just too bad that you couldn’t adjust.
If you are the Sexy Leader, try to play fair all the way around. You know you are more fair to some than others depending on what they can do for you. Quit being a crybaby around your people and expecting them to rescue you everything your lip quivers. Keep your paws off the employees and even if you can’t stop fantasizing about someone who works for you, keep a lid on it. Don’t be so quick to take ’sides’ when one of your favorites gets into it with someone who is not on your top list. Business is business and keep it that way most of the time. I know, you can’t help but gossip and flirt but keep it to a minimum. The good thing about you is you will have spies running to you with any news that could affect your position. The bad news is you bitch too often and too loud and that could get carried to the wrong people, if you know what I mean.
So tell me, folks, do you know the Sexy, Seductive Leader? E mail me your stories and how you handle this emotional leader who seems to suffer from chronic hurt feelings. Remember, all e mails are confidential.
Thanks. Sharon