Phobias , Rituals, and Obsessions: Re-Checkers Anonymous
There are more of you out there than you know about and there are some particular signs and evidence to look for:
Thoughts keep popping into your mind
Repeating behavior like hand washing
Checking and rechecking
Things must be placed exactly one way
Counting over and over
Food must be prepared certain way
Exercise must be done same time every day
Clothes must be folded certain way
Place setting must be exact
Repeated checking in mirror
Insistence things be done perfectly
Excessive detail
Doubting constantly
Excessive insistence on detail
Concerned with fatal flaws
We all have our little fears about certain places, things, and situations. We know doing these things make us tense and fearful. I know how I feel about snakes and my daughter feels the same way about seeing a mouse. She is up on the table with lightening speed and won’t come down till the mouse has departed. Phobias are the monster fears that stop us from doing something or demand that we continue to do something else. No problem happens with a phobia when the dreaded object is gone but hold on to your hats when the monster appears. You get anxious, panicky, and want to run, NOW. You will go to great lengths to avoid being around the dreaded monster and it’s worth it to avoid what you see as a sure disaster. People have told me that they would just as soon give up breathing as have to confront the object of the thing they are phobic about.
Luke is 8 years old and one day as he was coming home from school, a neighbor’s dog ran out barking. Luke started to talk to the dog and for his trouble he got bit on the leg. Luke ran home screaming and crying and telling his mother the dog tried to kill him. He didn’t want to leave the house and refused to go to school the next day. When his mother insisted that he go, he would take a long walk to avoid going down the street where the dog ‘got me’. He wants nothing to do with dogs and doesn’t want to be outside if there is a dog around. The kids tease him about this because he has shown such fear and this makes everything worse. He has started stuttering and is having trouble with his school work. He dreams about dogs coming after him and wakes up scared.
Phobia fears really keep you away from things that scare you. You will avoid them like the plague no matter what inconvenience it causes. It’s just like the guy who has to have 3 drinks before he can get on a plane or the gal who refuses to drive on an interstate because she knows she will get into a wreck. That fear is real and you pay attention to it to keep you alive.
Repeat, Recheck, Rethink, Regroup Reality Check?
If certain thoughts keep popping in your mind over and over even though you try to stop them, you are really wondering what’s going on here. You might feel that you have to do certain things like washing your hands over and over again to make sure your hands are clean. My husband was leaving the rest room and waiting for an English man to finish . Finally the man turned to him and told him to use the sink around the corner because he would be doing this for some time. I used to know a lady who would check and recheck the locks on her doors several times before she would leave her home. And we all know that stepping on cracks and walking under ladders mean bad mojo and we get a little uneasy when that black cat seems to be hanging around.
But when the checking, re thinking, and redoing makes you crazy, you are in a world of hurt because you feel you must obey the thoughts that tell you what you have to do. For example, you might feel that you have to ask your boss over and over just what job you are expected to do and what exactly is involved here. You might have to ask people, ‘Do you think I’m losing my hair’, or ‘Do you think I am a nerd’, or ‘Will you always be there for me?’ My mother became obsessed with germs when one of her babies died of a strep infection before there was good treatment for such things. She never got over checking for germs on silverware and just about anything else and used Lysol very often, even on you if she thought you needed it.
Mary Ann is 29 and keeps having these horrible thoughts that she is going to put some poison in her family’s food. She knows she would never do anything like this but whenever she goes into the kitchen she gets the thought again. She started to believe she was not going to be able to cook for everyone and would have to get carry out. Then one day the phone rang and she turned around to get it. Suddenly the thoughts were gone. She wondered what this meant. The next time she walked into the kitchen she turned around three times and lo and behold, there were no ugly thoughts. Same thing when she went in the next time. Now every time Mary Ann goes into her kitchen, she does this ritual and she is happy when none of those bad thoughts bother her. She has found, however, that when she is at someone else’s house she has to do the same think or she fears she might poison their food. She really think she is odd and strange but continues to believe she must do these turn arounds to protect people she cares about.
If you think you have to do certain actions to protect yourself in sort of a magical way and if you think that your thoughts can be kept under control by saying certain words or checking and re checking, you are living in a tough section of Worry World. But fear not. We will clean up your neighborhood and make it easy for you to walk around freely.
More important informatin about Worry World and how to live in it will appear in blogs arriving here soon. All donations large and small keep this blog going for you. Thanks. Sharon
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