Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Say I’m Not Too Short Or Tall. Not Too Short Or Not too Fat. I Just Couldn’t Stand For That
You are sure there is some flaw about your personal appearance. You suffer from mirror madness. How do I look, how do I look? When you meet someone new, you wonder what they are thinking of you, how they are sizing you up, and if they are more attractive than you. It makes you feel less confident and you are mentally comparing yourself to this person. Your self esteem starts to drag on the floor and you want to get away quickly. Socially, you are always wondering how you fit in and you have no desire to be a rebel or a lone wolf. If you are a worrier, how you look is essential to your self confidence. Being accepted and admired by others is important to you.
We are all told that we have to watch our weight, that we are getting too fat, that we need good posture, that society will punish you if you don’t fit in to what is the ‘norm’. You can never be sure than you measure up, that you are thin enough, that your face is pretty or handsome enough, that your features are sexy enough, that your breasts are large enough, that your male organ is the right size, that you have enough hair, that you have too much hair, and the list just goes on and on.
This worry about looks causes you to doubt whether you are attractive enough to get a date, keep a mate, and feel like you are as good as everybody else. You are so worried about how you look that you keep asking others to tell you how you look. You ask and ask if your dress looks right, if the tie seems to fit, and ‘What do you think’ becomes a big question in your vocabulary. Because you never can be sure. So if you keep agonizing about your looks it can drive you to the point where you think you have to have surgery done on your body to repair what mother nature failed to give you.
The appearance worry is a tough one to crack nowadays because we are all so ‘out there’ among the hordes and there is a lot of opportunity to do comparisons. You know inside that looks do not make the person. After all, you are not at all superficial. But you want to fit in so badly that concern about how you look can really keep you upset and flustered.
Another worry you have is that someone more attractive than you can take away what you deserve. It could be that promotion, that raise, that position in the church, that friend who was your best one. When something like this happens-and you always imagined it would- you will be left holding the bag filled with worry and thinking, ‘Oh no, not again.’
We are so obsessed with appearance in our society. Physical appearance is said to be important, so much so that people may be promoted or given raises based on their good or bad looks. We all have TV sets which show people who are groomed, made up, and shown to look perfect, not a hair out of place. When we see these images, we think this is the norm. I will talk about eating disorders and anxiety later, but because we have this exaggerated perception about how we are supposed to look it only breeds frustration. That is why in study after study, people say that they are dissatisfied with something related to how they look.
Self esteem is closely linked to body image. How you feel about your appearance can affect how worthwhile you feel. If you cannot stop worrying about how you look, it can translate into self doubt and nervousness.
You have become used to negative comments which you are making to yourself about yourself and it is self defeating. You are going to learn that when you can see yourself in a positive light, you can change the way you feel about yourself and your life.
More to follow in blogs to come.
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