If you are a worrywart, you are probably anxious about your sex life. At least 20% of the population suffers from excessive worry and this translates into sex life suffering. Being a worrier means being largely concerned with future happenings so you are worried that some sort of problem is going to happen in your most intimate behavior. Sometimes you are so preoccupied with worry that you cannot relax or cannot get erect or get excited too fast or don’t get excited at all. The happy name for this is performance anxiety and you know you’ve got it.
Men really worry about sex. Being a male means you worry you do not last long enough or perform ‘up to expectations’. You worry about having a low sex drive, too much sex drive, poor stamina, ‘can’t last long enough’, can’t be ready quickly for repeat performance, and ignorance as to how to give a female pleasure. There are very few males who do not worry about their penile size, performance, or being able to attract and bed females. Many males think that if they go bald, they will never be attractive to females. This is why billions of dollars are spent on magic hair restorers . Sexual performance tends to decline with age and this is really a scary scenario for males who start to wonder if their devotion to all kinds of sexual attraction is doomed. For some men it is the end of days.
Women worry a lot. They have breast implants, butt enhancements, and want to try every cream and perfume invented to smell feminine and sexy. Women really are worried that potential partners will not find them attractive. We are constantly concerned as to whether we are ’showing our age’ because old is out and youth is worshipped. How often do we women look in the mirror? Many times more than men, that’s for sure. It is our sworn duty from the time we enter our pre teens. We are taught about make up, perfumes, fashion, flattering clothing (that which makes us look skinnier), and how to smile and flirt. If we can’t attract a male, we must be pathetic, right? Too often we women guage our value by how sexy we appear so we will grab at anything which promises to help us turn men on. Yes, we worry what we are going to look like undressed. We are terrified that once our male partners see us naked they are going to run screaming out of the room.
Of course both women and men worry about masturbation and how it affects ‘normal’ sex, how to be sure condoms are safe, how to make sure a partner has no disease, having sex during menstrual periods, having climaxes, what positions are better, how many partners are too many, and on and on. We all worry about intimacy, forming relationships, remaining faithful, and dealing with bad and ending relationships.
Sexual performance drugs outsell most others and they are advertised in all of our homes in TV commercials . Everyone loves to snicker about sex enhancers but everyone agrees they can be a real necessity. People want sex, worship sex, but constantly worry about sex and their sexual performance. They also worry about their children having sex and suddenly take on a very conservative view of any early sexual expeience.
We all try to be intellectual and talk sex to death but the truth is that each of us, when we approach another human sexually, we are worried about how we will appear and how we will be judged. As with any other worry we have to calm down, avoid rushing into a panic situation, and prepare for good sex, just like we plan for other good things we want to experience in life.
Sometimes worry is a good thing. It can help you avoid rushing into a situation you could regret later. It’s excessive worry about sex than can cause you to become undone. I will help you get over this worry, along with all the rest , as we go along.
More to come in future blogs.
[tags[sex fear, sex obsessions, sexual concerns, top sex worries, condoms, sex[/tags]