I’m worried you will get the wrong kind of therapist . Here are some features of therapists I know who have been very successful in treating people like you with ‘worry disorders’:
Licensed by your state
Someone with a pleasing smile and a sense of humor
Someone who does not treat you as someone inferior or lesser or silly
Someone who listens well but also gives suggestions
Someone who explains the plan to get you better
Someone who is willing to help you explain your problem to a family member
Someone who knows about the kind of work you do and the pressure involved
Someone who gives you hope and assurances that you can feel better
Someone you can trust to tell your innermost secrets
Someone who never makes your problems seem small or unimportant.
Someone who will tell you how much this is going to cost
Someone who will tell you how long this is going to take
Now what types of therapy work for worry warts?
Psychotherapy: (No, not really)
Therapy which seeks to uncover deep, past, psychological trauma never seems to work too well with those of you who have high anxiety, panic disorders, or phobias. Because the emphasis in these therapies are directed towards ‘thoughts’ rather than behavior, the person who is suffering may finally discover the roots of the problem, but the actual behavior does not change. This means the worry, anxiety, and phobias are still going to be there.
Behavior Therapy- (Yes, good deal)
With you as a worrier, the concept is that you have been underestimating your skills and ways to deal with a difficult situation. At the same time you have overestimated the fear involved with particular situations. This causes anxiety and continues to snowball to another similar situation. Confused? Just continue on. I will clear it up.
This therapy usually does not involve an M.D. Your worries and tenseness are lessened by joining a group or seeing a therapist who specializes in behavior treatment of your particular anxiety.
The goal is to help you develop a behavior when faced with a fear. Let’s say you have a terrible fear when you are in a large building and will have to use the elevator to go up 20 floors. You were afraid when you were a child and got on an elevator and some people got into a fight and scared you. Now, you could be taught to say to yourself the next time you are getting on an elevator ‘Nothing is going to happen to me’ over and over. This is while you are also imagining getting to the 20th floor and going about your business.
Another behavior treatment is to gradually expose you to the situation you fear. There are support groups who will go with you on a plane ride and help you reassure yourself that this time the plane is not going to fall from the sky. This is done gradually, maybe the first day just driving to the airport and walking around. You are being ‘desensitized’. Often you are shown videos of situations you would find frightening and are taught breathing and relaxation techniques. So behavior therapy can work very well on ‘anticipation’ anxiety, preparing you to deal with it in a very specific way.
Deep breathing, relaxation techniques, using music to relax, having biofeedback machines which show you that in fact your blood pressure and pulse rates are going down can really help you help yourself. And the good thing is that when each of these or one of these things work for you and you can see actual progress being made, your confidence starts to climb and that’s an essential part of your feeling better. You are encouraged to use these techniques for up to 30 minutes every day and regain a sense of calm. Plus you are doing something good for you which makes you realize you are important and your needs are important too.
Behavior therapy is not a quick, 1-2-3- and you’re done way of helping you. You have to keep using the behaviors which help and there is no immediate relief. There is gradual progress, one step at a time as we discussed as your best way of doing things.
Sometimes, however, this approach is just not enough and you just need another boost to get yourself less stressed and anxious.
More to come in future blogs.
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