Solutions For Life

We have all come into contact with one of these leaders.   They want to win at  any price, beat out the competition, and still be told they are wonderful people.   How many CEO’s in the US do you think have this personality?   They will raid a company and sell it off in parts without considering what happens to the people who worked there 20 years.  They would sell out their own family (and have) if it meant getting what they wanted.   They step on people on their way to success and then when they get to the top, become great philanthropists, trying to buy their way into heaven.   Everyone reading this blog has  run into one of these people.   When they stomp on anyone who gets in their way, the reaction is felt by many involved or standing by.  And yet they seem to keep winning.   What’s up with this?

The ruthless leader starts off at an early age being a major competitor and refusing to lose and accept defeat.   There is always some evil force in the way, someone out to get them.   There is always an enemy in the background who has to be defeated.    This leader is a relentless climber,  a very hard worker, and a schemer who plots most of the time.   Work, work, work, that’s this person’s mantra.    So you better be ready to work your tail off to keep yourself on the team and acceptable.  Competition is a battleground and you have to keep up the combat mentality.   It’s always essential to keep your eyes on the prize and be faster and quicker than the other guy.  This leader will appreciate your cut throat attitude.   This is a leader who is ready to go to war and doesn’t mind accepting a few casualties, as long as it’s you who are one of them.   This leader is known for being a warrior and the stakes are always high.  I know one in particular who declared that anyone who hadn’t netted  his first million by the time he was 30 ‘had no balls’.   When you work for this leader you have a place, and it is at the bottom of the heap.   He or she and ’special friends’ will always be taken care of while you get the crumbs.

I recall a situation where there were two sister who owned a large company which was growing by leaps and bounds.    One was very cunning and crafty. While the other sister was on vacation, the ruthless sister arranged to take complete control of the company and force the other sister out.   What a family person this ruthless one was.    And guess what the response was of the one doing the dirty deed?   ‘Well, this is just business and I did what I thought was best for the company’.   With the ruthless driven leader you are working for and with someone who will sacrifice you immediately if you seem expendable. 

Stay alert and watchful to see how the tide is rolling.  This leader wants ‘yes people’ all around and you’d better be agreeing and nodding when you hear this leader’s agenda.   He or she who expresses disapproval or disagreement is on borrowed time.   You will get the ax, sooner than later.   The crown is worn by only one person and that is this ruthless leader.   Any subversive activity will be squelched and you will be separated from the herd and isolated.    The wolf isolates you, then attacks and you are gone   Incidentally, this leader will fire you on the spot so keep you head up and watch what is happening around you   If you notice people are drifting away from your side and no one wants to have lunch with you, you are a marked person.   Either the top wolf or the appointed ax person will soon be at your door.

So why would anyone in their right mind work for this person?   Some people love the intrigue and the constant warfare atmosphere.    There are always many carrots being dangled, promises being made, and warm encouragement being given out for hard work.   Some people are attracted to strong, hard leaders and like to be in their company.  They want to be part of that successful team.   Some people don’t have the guts to do the dirty work, but like to work for someone who does.   Some people like to bask in the sunshine of the wolf’s success and want to be associated with a ‘winning team’.   But anyone who works for this ruthless leader needs to understand one thing.    The motto is’ What have you done for me lately?’ and if you stop producing, no matter what you did in the past, you’re a goner.  The wolf and the pack will leave you behind to fend for yourself when pickens get slim.   Never count on loyalty with this driven leader.

So how in the world do you stay safe with this leader and survive?    Work and work and work and produce results.   Be a slave to the work and put everything else second.   Don’t whine about all the work dumped on you.   Smile and say ‘I can handle this.’  Watch which way the wind is blowing and never blow against the wind.  Agree that this leader is right and has the right strategy.    When your leader gets all hyper and angry about the nerve of competitors, jump right again and agree they are all bastards.   Don’t expect parties and socialization with this leader because after all, who are you to require time and attention?   Smile, agree, nod, and keep working like your job depends on it.    It does.

Now what if you are the wolf, the ruthless leader?   Sometimes you have to cover up your fangs and instead wear a ribbon and convince people that you are actually very friendly and caring.  You are actually a warm cuddly teddy bear. (Ha!) Make your personality work for you, not against you.   Show that you are the fighter and the contender but sometimes tone down your rhetoric and don’t sound so extreme.  Build a coalition of people who will march to your orders and follow instructions at any costs.   Grit your teeth and smile a little, make some small talk, and ask about your employees’ families.   I know, I know, you couldn’t care less.   But it takes the edge off and sometimes you have to wear a smiley face rather than a war bonnet.   You have a terrible habit of making sworn enemies and you cannot watch your back all the time so you need to pick out a few loyalists who will do the job for you and report any threat or subversive conversation.   You do always think that people are out to get you and most of them are because of how you treat them.   Watch your back and beware that special friend you trust who is always on your side.   That is usually the person who in the end will stab you in the back and bring you down.    It’s the ruthless way, after all.

In today’s technology era, there have come to be leaders who are very detail oriented, very doubtful and skeptical, but also loose as a goose and down to earth.   This leader does not put on airs and likes being one of the crew.  This is not  the person who insists on everyone wearing formal dress to work and who accepts you in tattered bluejeans if you can do the job. I’ve known several who have a mini basketball hoop in the office for a quick escape from work tension.  This leader can make people laugh and come off as ‘one of the good guys’.   With an accepting manner, a great sense of humor, and an ability to give constructive  criticism without making others feel lower than dirt, this is a popular leader.

This leader pauses a lot , sometimes stutters then speaks very quickly, makes gestures to illustrate, and will be self depreciating to make others feel at ease.   What a boss! This leader is never described as ‘mean’ or ‘cruel’.  I have even know many of them who have funny blow up illustrations to make their points to team leaders and pass out silly award cards.   This is the boss who runs around the office with a Santa Claus hat at Christmas and many of the meetings they conduct are zany and funny while making very serious points.    Here’s the bottom line.    Employees like this leader.  Employees will follow the leader  when the Doubting Thomas points the way.

So what’s the problem, you say.   This person is destined to zoom to the top from the get go, right?  Oops.   Did I forget to mention there are few little negatives to work out for this person?  Well, come on.   It’s never that easy.   Underneath the doubtful leader is always wondering if he or she will be ‘found out’ to be not as capable or certain as others might think.   They sense that there is a gap in their knowledge, something they have not considered, some detail which has been overlooked.   Therefore, this person is full of self doubt but people do not sense this.  

Detail, detail, and more detail is needed to make good decisions.  Therefore every possibility must be explored, checked, rechecked, and then there is still skepticism.    When you work for this leader, you will be asked question after question, tested as to how well you know your subject, and asked for just one more set of information before things move forward.  

Another think to note about this leader is it’s best if there is a positive atmosphere around because if this boss gets negative, negativity tends to continue.    If there is a screw up, if a detail is missed, if a project goes south because someone didn’t input the right information, this jokester can get nasty.   No longer the friendly, soothing, encouraging person, this leader will tell you flat out how you screwed up, how you’d better not do it again, and how you really reflected badly on the team.   But lucky for you, you aren’t working for the Boss who would fire you on the spot and boot you out the door.

This leader doesn’t show you he or she is under pressure but under the calm veneer, there is a lot of frustration and second guessing.   You will know this is happening when this leader gets up, walks to the water cooler, gets a cup of coffee, whistles, then looks very serious.   Then you know there will be a lot of procrastination about things getting moved along because this overthinker is bogged down and can’t make a decision.  

That’s when you as the employee come to the aid of your leader.   You roll your sleeves up and try to research every tiny bit of information which could add to the problem solving process.  Be prepared to answer every question asked of you and don’t be vague and unsure.   Be confident and sure of your facts (and this better be true) and ask if there is any more detail you can find.   Also it won’t hurt to make a quick little quick joke or play on words to lighten things up a bit.  Draw a smiley face and keep it on your desk. Do not ask more questions, encourage doubt, or say that things need to checked one more time.   It is flirting with disaster because if you even mention a possibility of misgiving, you will have to run through the whole process again, not just once either.  All in all, be brief, to the point, smile a lot, and do a good job and this leader will like and respect you.

Now what about you if you are an Overthinker Leader?   You are a double doubter who always is thinking there is a bit of information missing to solve the puzzle.   You tend to ask too many questions and then doubt what you hear.  You get a little obsessive compulsive about things and focus too much on the ‘what ifs’.   You go into too much detail often times and lose your audience.   That’s when you have to bring your inner joker out and break the tension.   Sometimes you are so accommodating of others that you add additional burdens on yourself and this gets you in trouble with your family who want you home when the work day is done.  You work best when you work no more than 50 hours a week because you are so intense that you get more done than other people who would need 70 hours to do the same work.  Remember, you are most effective and get people working their butts off for you when you are loose as a goose, less formal, and relaxed.

If you are an Overthinker Leader, you may have a hard time playing hardball with other leaders if their personalities are overwhelming and intimidating.   You don’t like to fight and argue like some of the other intense Leaders.   Reasoning is good, you say, but screaming gets you nowhere.   On the other hand, you don’t want to let others get the idea that you are a pushover who will back down.   Even though it’s against your nature, sometimes you have to play very hard ball and let people know you are a force to be reckoned with.  If you want to stay the leader, remind everyone occasionally who is running the show.  

Keep using your humor and easy way with people to get a lot done.   Once you have gotten enough information (and you have to get to that point sooner than later), move forward and accept you have made a decision.   Doubting and double doubting will only hurt you in your role as a leader.   Remember, those who work for you want to be sure you have a real sense of direction.    Your personality affect how people react to you so let them see you as a ‘decider’ who has the facts, Jack.

Here’s my question to you reading about the Overthinker Leader.   Have I hit it on the head and do you work for a person like this?   If you are an Overthinker Leader, e mail me about how you have used your personality to get big things done and keep all your followers on your side.

This is a leader we recognize immediately.   Stand back and let this big wind blow through because you will get directions and ’suggestions’ which you’d better follow.   Most of us have had experience with this type of leader and many of us have worked for one of them.  It’s their way or the highway.   Stand up and salute and agree and you will prosper.   Any interference or defiance means you are not following this leader and you are on your way out, no excuses.   The word Boss’ was designed to describe this person.   That shaking finger and red face when you slack off will put you in your place and make you feel like dirt.   And the lecture will go on and on, explaining how you loafed and didn’t put out your best work.

So is this person a control freak who demands obedience and expects quick compliance?   Sometimes,for sure.   One of the reasons this leader rises to the top is that he or she charges to the top, taking over, making decisions, and making people agree with them.  They are demanding, insistent, and talk over you when you are trying to make your point.  People listen because they are colorful and give superb explanations.  That’s because they feel they are best at what they do and say.  You are lesser and you’d better accept your place. 

 We don’t like these people—or do we?

Sometimes we need that controlling person who takes charge, accepts responsibility, and doesn’t worry about offending anybody.   Sometimes someone has to take the reins and drive the horses to finish the race.  There are so many times when most of us just want to lay back, let things work themselves out, and let the dust settle.   The boss charges in , sets the pace, and gets us all moving forward.   And we do things we never thought we could complete, never could finish.    Now when we work for the ‘Boss’ we bitch a lot because we get tired of being treated like children.   But we also get a lot of benefit because this leader is always driving towards the new and spectacular which means money in our pockets when the benefits roll in from all that innovation.   The Boss actually does look out for employees, almost as if they are dependent children.

I know people who have said they would rather be dead than work for a leader like this.   They simply cannot be bullied and charmed into working excess hours, redoing their work because it isn’t perfect, and having that finger waved in the face.   But I know an equal amount of people who love working for the Boss because their standard of living and financial reward has been huge working for this leader.

Remember, personality has to do with the effect you have on people.   The Boss could be even more effective if he or she could count to 10 before the explosion.   If the finger shaking could be minimized  and the yelling and screaming could be toned down, the Boss would have even greater influence over others.  Instead of making every situation into a crisis, this person would be so much more successful keeping an eye on the main , most pressing situation and delegating the rest to others.   The Boss has to understand delegating is essential and other people are  capable.   YES THEY ARE and you have to give others a chance to be a leader.  

Unfortunately, if you are a Boss type leader, you are going to burn out sooner or later because you burn out going 24-7 , always on alert.  You are likely to have to force yourself to relax and many times get hooked on booze or drugs to bring you down.   Since you are always looking for more excitement, you can get yourself in trouble in your marriage.   Because you are so bossy, you can drive your children away from you and end up lonely in your older years.   No one is willing to listen to you anymore because they don’t have to.

Boss Leader, beware.   You do so much good and yet can end up destroying everything you built up by not being able to calm down , continuing to command everything and everyone around you.    You have what is considered one of the strongest, forceful personalities.   It can make the road to the top fairly quick and easy for you, but it can also ruin everything precious to you. 

To those who work for the BOSS:   Do not try to go toe to toe with this person in a screaming match.   You will lose.   Suggest to the Boss, do not demand.   When the Boss does a fantastic job, give a lot of support.   When the yelling starts, back down and wait until things cool off.   Silence can be very effective with the Boss.  A battle only happens when someone else enters into combat with bossy.  The ranting and raving will eventually die down and it’s back to business as usual.   Do your absolute best and do not goof off as you will be found out and punished.  

If you are The Boss or you work for him or her, please send your stories and tell me what your opinion is.  What do you think about this type of leader?   Am I wrong in this description or am I dead on?  And keep those small contributions coming in as they get me going and motivate me to help you even more.    Thanks.    Sharon